If Only
by Court
Summary: Patrick and Robin celebrate an anniversary, and look towards their future, now that Robin is expecting their baby. Warning: Contains speculations found on Soapdish.


**Title:** If Only

**Author:** Court

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary: **I'm not going to say alot, because I don't want to give it all away. I will say that it's light and fluffy...and spoilerish.

**Status: **Complete

Peeking out through a cluster of fluffy white clouds, the sun shines down on the city in brilliant streaks of light, glazing it over like a gentle dust of glitter, giving life and spreading warmth to everything it touches. Like the bulb of a flashlight in a darkened room, it acts as a guide, seeping through the barrier of trees scattered throughout the area, paving the way for the citizens of Port Charles that are out and about, enjoying the outdoors. Spring was the painting, Mother Nature it's artist, a serene canvas brushed with color, a picture of near perfection.

Today was just an ordinary day to most people, but to them, it was much more. For the past two years, it had been anyway. Today was an anniversary; a day to be remembered. A day they would never forget. Hands clasped, fingers threaded, they move quietly towards that destination they had yet to discover, recalling images of beauty that came in flashes, a constant replay of what had made a memory worth lasting. For a moment, their eyes meet and lock, a glint of something forbidden mirrored in them, a tiny, secret smile twisting their lips. When it becomes too much, they look ahead once more, a modest blush flooding their cheeks like two teenagers caught doing something naughty.

It was silly really, being embarrassed over thoughts of their lovemaking. Not only in considering that they had made love hundreds of times since then, but for the mere fact that she is now pregnant, and with his child no less. They had never been shy with one another, either. Quite the opposite, actually. It was as if they were two glowing embers, threatening to burst into flame at any moment, any time, any place. The passion they felt for each other had only multiplied over time, and it seemed only fitting that at some point, it would result in a baby. And though it was unplanned and scary and the very reason that they had spent so much time apart, there were no regrets. Someone bigger than them, higher than them had a plan, and all they could do was live it to the fullest. Fear had no place here; only love, trust and faith to make it to tomorrow, one day, one step at a time.

Stealing a glance at the man she had come to love so deeply, so dearly, Robin Scorpio sighs. Was it possible to look at someone and feel lost and at home all at once? For someone who seemed to know her better than anyone ever had, he confused her a lot of the time. Holding onto his hand, walking through the woods, her mind was swimming with questions. Even the simple act of hiking at one pace, side by side, seemed to be a complete contradiction to their entire relationship: she'd always felt that if she wasn't one step ahead of him, she was one step behind. He didn't want something until she decided that she didn't want it anymore, or he was ready when she wasn't ready, or vice versa. Even now, when their couple status was one big question mark above them, it rang true: he had the nerve to propose to her! And not just once, but twice!

As the saying goes, marriage isn't something to be entered into lightly. It should be about love and commitment, and not obligation or guilt. It had only been a couple of months since Patrick had found out the truth about her baby - their baby. This was a man that spent the past year telling her in every way imaginable the reasons why he couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't become a father. But she gets pregnant, spills that he's the father and suddenly he wants to be a family man? And she's supposed to believe that his heart is in it? That he's genuine in his outrageous proposal? This is 2008, not 1922! She's a strong, independent woman and she doesn't need a man to hold her hand and carry her like a caveman through the next four or five months!

Visibly stiffening at the thought, she attempts to pry her hand away from his, but the move doesn't take him by surprise.

Smirking, Patrick refuses to let go of her hand, bringing it to his lips. Shaking his head in amusement, he teases her. "You're thinking about it again, aren't you?"

Refusing to give him the satisfaction of an answer, she rolls her eyes instead and tries like mad to pretend that she is unaffected by his gesture, her heart responding to his touch, thumping against her chest in excitement. Despite appearances, saying no to him hadn't been easy. Shouting the words at her in a fight or whispering them like a sonnet, down on one knee - it had been a dream come true. The only difference was, in the actual dream, he had wanted this all along. It wasn't done on a whim. It wasn't him humoring her or giving her what he thought she wanted, even if he really didn't want it for himself.

But she loves him. She loves him for giving her another chance at life, and for fighting for her when no one else cared to do so. She loves him for his brilliance, and for his heart that he tries to keep hidden away from the rest of the world, offering it only to her. She loves him for demanding the best from her, as she demands the best from him. She loves him for the gift of their unborn child, wittingly or not. And no matter what they have been through, or how much they have hurt one another, she knows that that love only grows stronger with each passing minute. It's unconditional, and unending, like his for her. Together or apart, she knows it to be true. If she wasn't so practical, if she didn't fear him leaving her just like everyone else had in her life…she would say yes, in the name of that truth alone.

"Are you okay? You getting tired?"

Smiling at the concern in his voice, Robin gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm fine. We're almost there."

As if on cue, they find themselves at the threshold of their chosen spot a mere few seconds later. Coming to a stop at the clearing, they take a moment to admire the view. It was field of endless green grass, teased with the occasional flower. Silent and still, just waiting to be claimed by lovers taking advantage of the cool, dry afternoon. It's Patrick that steps forward first, pulling Robin along with him.

"It's really beautiful, isn't it?" Robin beams, turning towards Patrick when he doesn't respond.

"Gorgeous," he answers huskily, his eyes on her and not their surroundings.

Biting her lip nervously, Robin shakes her head, in awe of his blatant affection for her. On this day, two years ago, he'd told her he wouldn't apologize for saying such things. She didn't want him to. Even though he made her blush with words like this, even after all this time, somehow, he'd also managed to make her believe him. Or at least believe that he believed it to be true, which was all that really mattered to her anyway.

Tugging at the strap of her tank top, Robin laughs in attempt to break the tension. "Stop mentally undressing me, Dr. Hottie, and get to work on that basket. I'm eating for two now, in case you've forgotten. Your baby is hungry."

_Your baby_. Patrick can't help but smile at her words, even though she probably thinks he's ridiculous for acting this way. He'd definitely thrown her for a loop with his attitude as of late, as well as himself. He never expected to feel this way. Then again, he'd spent so much time running away from the idea of becoming a father, he'd never really given himself a chance to think of what it might be like if it actually happened. He'd been too afraid, and with good reason - or so he thought. But the moment he considered that the baby Robin was carrying might be his, something inside of him began to change. He's still afraid, and he doesn't have it all figured out, but he knows one thing for sure: he wants Robin and their baby in his life.

Correction: Robin and their baby are his life. They are what matters now, and his mind is set on proving that to Robin. She's proving to be quite difficult, but that comes as no surprise to him. But just as the first time, he knows in his heart that she will eventually come around to his way of thinking. They love each other, and they belong together. Robin knows it as well as he does. She just needs time to sort it all out, and he is more than willing to give it to her. She's worth the wait.

Patrick chuckles, taking the blanket out of the picnic basket, and spreading it on the ground. "What are you craving this time?"

Grabbing onto the end, helping him straighten it out, Robin grumbles. "Turkey sandwich."

"Oooooh -"

"With peanut butter."

Crinkling his nose in disgust, Patrick makes a sour face. "Ewwwwe!!!"

Folding her arms across her chest, Robin glares at him. "Hey, what are you complaining about? I'm the one that has to eat it!"

"Well, I guess it's better than Chunky Monkey with a side of pickle." Shuddering at the thought, Patrick makes a gagging motion, clearly mocking her.

"Cute."

Stepping towards her, he wraps his arms around her waist. "You're hot when you're angry. But you know what? You're even hotter when you're pregnant and angry at the same time! You should -"

Cutting him off mid ramble, Robin clears her throat. "Patrick?"

"Yeah?"

"Less talking, more eating. Okay?"

"'K," he nods, removing his arms, stepping back to take out the food.

Watching him as he sets up their picnic, Robin finds herself wishing she could have let him hold her just a minute longer. They'd kissed a few times in the recent months, growing closer as he simply refused to go away. He told her that he wanted to be involved, and just as he had done when they first met, he stuck with her. No matter how many times she told him she could do this on her own, that he could live the life he wanted without her and their child, he kept coming back for more. A part of her wanted to believe that maybe he had changed his mind, and that he really did want the things that she wanted now. If only that were true, he could keeping holding her and kissing her, and they could live their own backwards version of happily ever after, forever and ever. If only…

Kneeling on the blanket beside him, Robin watches as he fixes her sandwich, salivating at the sight of a combination that would normally make her stomach turn, just as it had done to Patrick. She watches his beautiful surgeon hands work, carefully, precisely, as if he's performing a surgery, rather than spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread. He claimed to want to take care of her, and in this moment, he was doing just that.

"Here you go," Patrick says lowly, offering her the finished product. 

The words 'thank you' are in her throat when he catches her off guard, swooping down to capture her lips with his own. Lingering for only a moment, he moves to her cheek, then her jaw, her neck, finally ending with a moist brush over her exposed shoulder. Surprising her further, he traces her upper arm with his fingertips, pulling the thin, yellow strap back up and in place. She hadn't even realized it had fallen. But after that rather seductive, yet sweet move on Patrick's part, she silently prays that it happens again before the day is through.

Staring at him, as if trying to figure him out, Robin finally manages to get the words out and takes a bite of her special sandwich.

"Good?"

"Yeah," she mumbles as she chews, covering her mouth with her hand as she does. "Very."

"Water or juice?"

"Water," she smiles as she takes the bottle from his already outstretched hand. "What are you having?"

"Turkey sandwich, hold the peanut butter."

Robin giggles, taking another bite. Tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, she looks down at the race cars patterned across the blanket, grazing one with her free hand, absentmindedly. "Thank you for coming here today."

"This is the only place I want to be, Robin," Patrick vows sincerely, praying that she believes him, if only just a little bit. "Today's just as important to me as it is to you."

"It was a good day," she recalls, softly.

"The best," he nods.

They eat in a comfortable silence, stretching out on top of the blanket when they're finished. Lying on their backs, side by side, they let the light breeze sweep across their faces, soaking in every precious second of their time together. It felt good, right and perfect then, and neither one wanted to lose that feeling. It had been too long.

Turning his head towards her, Patrick licks his lips. "Can I tell you something about that day? Something I've never told you before?"

"Of course," Robin urges, turning her head as well.

"When you stopped and looked at me…during…I….I felt it, too. I felt what you felt."

"I know," Robin smiles, reaching out to caress his cheek, unable to check the impulse as it grabs her.

Leaning into her hand, he kisses her palm, smiling back. "Making love to you…I never made love to anyone before that. You're the only woman I've ever made love to, Robin. Ever. And when you looked at me, I…I couldn't pretend that I wasn't feeling what I was feeling. It was the one thing that I told myself I'd never feel for anyone. And you scared the hell out of me that day, because I knew…I knew there was no getting you out of my system. I knew that what I was feeling…what you meant to me….there was no getting away from it. And after…that's why I was so distant. It wasn't because I didn't want a commitment, and I was afraid that you did…it was because I knew that I wanted the same thing I knew you wanted…and it definitely wasn't sex with no strings. But I couldn't say it."

"I wasn't any better than you, though. I did the same thing, Patrick," Robin insists, rolling onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow.

"But you would have told me, Robin," Patrick persists, mimicking her pose. "If I would have told you that I was falling in love with you right then, who knows where we'd be right now. What might have changed."

"You mean the baby," Robin suggests sadly, falling back onto her back, unable to face him.

"NO! No, Robin," Patrick swears, leaning over her, placing his hand to her belly for emphasis. "That's not what I meant. We made someone. Our love made someone. How could I ever be sorry for that?"

"Because you don't want to be a father, Patrick!"

"I didn't! Didn't - as in past tense, Robin! Dammit!" Frustrated, angry with himself, Patrick sits up, raising his knees, leaning over them. "Look, I know this is my fault. I know that I told you over and over again that I didn't want this. I was an idiot, okay?"

"That's just it, Patrick! You weren't an idiot! You were just you, and you just wanted what you wanted and felt how you felt and that was fine! I loved you, and leaving you broke my heart, but I just wanted you to be happy! You deserve to be happy!"

"Don't you get it, Robin? I can't be happy unless I'm with you! No matter how hard I tried to pretend that I could move on, I couldn't! It's you! Just you! Always! Forever! Without you, I'm finished! Done!"

"What about Leyla? She's beautiful and smart and -"

"Leyla's a nice girl, Robin, but she isn't you. She could never be you. And as awful as it may sound, she means nothing to me." Grabbing her hand and holding it between both of his, Patrick looks into her eyes, as if trying to reach her heart, her soul. "Listen to me, Robin. I could go on, it's true. I could be with a different woman every night, and keep on doing my job and have a drink at Jakes by myself or with Leo every now and then. I could live like that, and be who you think I want to be in a life of freedom as you call it, but I don't want to. I want more. I want better. You made me believe that I could have that. And I did have that when we were together. I want to make you happy, and be a good father to our son or our daughter. And I know you don't believe me, and that I've given you every reason not to, but please…all I'm asking is for you to have faith in me. Because I have faith in you. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now. And yeah, I could screw it all up. We both could. But that's a chance that I'm willing to take, because I love you, and I want you, and I need you in my life, for the rest of my life."

Tears fill both their eyes, streaming down like an infinite river. Robin utters his name on a sob, words lost somewhere in the space between her heart and her mind. Lost in the moment, Patrick leans down and takes the hem of her shirt in hand, bunching it up, exposing her vastly rounding belly.

"You're really starting to show," he speaks in wonder, his warm breath tickling her stomach. Placing both hands over her, he keeps on. "If we have a girl, I hope she has your hair. It's really soft and silky and you know I can't keep my hands out of -" Patrick pauses, quirking his eyebrow. "On second thought, I don't want to have to kill some horny teenager that decides to put his filthy hands in my daughter's beautiful hair, or anywhere else for that matter. If she inherits anything from you, it needs to be your ability to kick someone's ass. I guess that would come from your -"

"Marry me," Robin says suddenly, her voice strong and confident, full of love.

Mouth agape, eyes wide, Patrick freezes. "What did you just say?"

Rolling her eyes, Robin swats him on the shoulder. "You heard me. Marry me."

"Are you serious right now?"

"Are YOU? You propose to me twice and it comes as a shock to you when I ask? This isn't the 18th century, buddy. Women do ask nowadays," Robin informs him, offensively.

"So what, you just said no before so you could ask me later?"

"UGH! Could you just say yes already?"

"Oh, right! Because you made it so easy on me!"

"This isn't a contest, Patrick. It's a proposal. It's a yes or no question. So, which is it?"

Shaking inside, Patrick decides to torment her further by not answering right away. Instead, he leans back towards the place where their baby rested inside of her. "What do you think, kiddo? Should I make an honest woman out of your mommy or what?"

"Patrick Drake! You are the most insufferable, infuriating -"

Robin's tirade is cut off by Patrick's lips. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes," he repeats, kissing her again.

Kissing him back with all the love she feels for him in her heart, Robin pulls him closer to her, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Patrick whispers back, adoringly, brushing the hair from her forehead. "I have something for you."

"You do?"

"Mmm hmm…"

Reluctantly pulling away from her, Patrick digs around in the picnic basket, pulling out what appears to be a can of mixed nuts. Turning towards her again, he senses that she's about to make a smart comment, and holds up his finger in objection. Wordlessly, he opens the lid, and pulls out a small, black velvet box.

"Patrick," Robin gasps, meeting him in the middle, both of them on their knees.

"I brought this with me, just in case," he grins. "I didn't plan on asking you, and well, I certainly didn't plan on you asking me -"

"I didn't plan it either -"

" - but….I guess it was meant to be."

"I guess so…"

Handing her the box, Patrick keeps his eyes on her face, anxiously awaiting her reaction. "It was my mother's…"

Opening the box, Robin feels a fresh onset of tears flood her eyes, her heart swelling with the loves she feels for this man, in this moment…what she's been waiting for her entire life. The ring was stunning: set on a thin band of yellow gold was one spectacular, emerald cut diamond. The first Mrs. Drake, who would have been her mother-in-law, wore it first, and now she, as the future Mrs. Drake, would be honored and humbled to wear it, always.

"It's….Patrick it's amazing. I…" Lifting her eyes to meet his, she shakes her head. 'I wish I could have known her."

"Me too," he sniffs, swiping his thumb across her tear-stained cheek, instead of his own. "She would have loved you, Robin."

"I hope so," she smiles fondly. Glancing down at the ring, then back up at him, she presses her lips together. "Would you put it on me?"

Nodding, he takes the box from her and removes the ring. Slipping it on her small, yet elegant finger, he grins as it slides on easily, making a perfect fit. "Yeah, it was definitely meant to be."

Feeling quite giddy all of the sudden, Robin squeals, linking her arms around his neck again. "I can't believe we're engaged!"

"Believe it, Robin. We're going to be happy."

"I'm happy right now."

"So am I, but I know how we could be happier…"

"Oh yeah? How's that?"

Patrick's answer isn't a verbal one, as he yanks Robin up and against him, hooking her legs around his waist, making her cry out in surprise and excitement. Lowering her carefully back down onto the blanket, he kisses her deeply, feverishly. Finding the edge of her tank top, he lifts it up, causing Robin to break the kiss.

"Patrick! What do you think you're doing?"

"Making love to my fiancé! You got a problem with that, Dr. Scorpio?"

"Someone could see us, Patrick!"

"Nobody is going to see us! And besides, what ever happened to the thrill of possibly being caught?"

"Let's just go to the cabin."

"And risk Carly walking in on us again? No thank you!"

"Ick! You're right about that."

Seeing how distracted she is, knowing that he isn't going to get anywhere, Patrick looks down at his fiancé and smiles. His fiancé. He liked the sound of that. "Okay, you win. Let's get out of here."

Leaning up on both of her elbows, Robin asks, "Where are we going?"

"The cabin. The car. I really don't care at this point. The locale isn't an issue."

Rolling her eyes, Robin frowns. "How romantic."

"Baby, we have the rest of our lives to be romantic. Right now, I just want you. It's been too long."

Watching as he gathers their things, Robin rises, considering his words. From this particular angle, he was looking pretty damned good to her as well. Patrick Drake, brilliant neurosurgeon, sexy, arrogant lady's man was soon to be all hers - officially that is. She would be Mrs. Patrick Drake. Robin Drake. Robin Scorpio-Drake. Dr. Robin Scorpio-Drake. She had his ring, and his heart. Her fiancé. She liked the sound of that.

Catching her staring at him, Patrick puts his hands on his hips. "What?"

"Oh, forget it!"

Jumping him, she wraps her limbs about his body, smashing her lips against his, telling him in her own way just how much she wants him in this moment, too. Beneath the radiant afternoon sky, on the anniversary of the first time they made love, Patrick and Robin celebrate their engagement, and their new beginning.

**THE END**

Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!


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